Spooky Jokes

Are you easily spooked? Only the bravest people know all the joke on this page. If you think you can be spookier than your friends, check out these howlers. Try this jokes on your friends and make them howl with laughter. It’s spooky!

‘How do you make a milkshake?

Sneak up behind a glass of milk and yell, „Boo!” ‘

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‘What is a ghost’s favourite bird?

A scare crow.’

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‘What does a witch’s cat say at Hallowen?

„Trick or trout.”

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‘Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Dayscare centres.’

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‘What’s the most important programme on a witch’s computer?

The spell checker.’

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‘What should you say when you meet a ghost?

How do you boo, sir, how do you boo?’

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‘What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?

„Put your boos and shocks on.”

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‘What story do little ghosts like to hear at bedtime?

Gouldilocks and the three scares.’

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‘Why couldn’t the witch fly for long distances?

She got broomsick.’

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‘What do ghosts drink at breakfast?

Coffee with scream and sugar.’

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‘What’s the difference between a witch and the letters m, a, k, e, and s?

One makes spells and the other spells make.’

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‘Why did the wizard get into the fridge?

He was in for a cold spell.’

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‘What vehicle does a kid ghost like to ride?

A boocycle.’

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‘When do ghosts go to work?

Moandays and Frightdays.’

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‘What do ghosts eat for dinner?

Spook-ghetti.’

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‘What’s the best way to imagine you’re flying on a broomstick?

Witchful thinking.’

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‘Where do phantoms mail their letters?

At the ghost office.’

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‘Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?

Anywhere where he can boo-gie.’

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‘What time is it when a ghost haunts your house?

Time to move to a new house.’

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‘How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?

It depends what you want to change it into.’

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‘Witch wizard never goes to the barber?

Hairy Potter.’

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‘What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a ghost?

A cocker-poodle-boo.’

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‘Why did the witch take a week to make a spell?

It was a slow-motion-potion.’

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‘How do ghosts start their cars?

With spook plugs.’

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‘What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?

He is mist.’

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‘What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Sham-boo.’

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‘Why couldn’t the ghost get a whisky in the pub?

They didn’t serve spirits.’

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‘Why do phantoms do when they need more coffee on a plane?

Call the air ghostness or the fright atteendant.’

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‘Why did the wizard wear a pointed hat?

Because he had a pointead head.’

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‘What kind of sorceress lives by the sea?

A sandwitch.’

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‘What did the witch say to her cat?

„You’re familiar.”

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‘What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now?

Decomposing.’

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‘What kind of sorceress lives by the sea but is afraid to go swimming?

A chicken sandwitch.’

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‘Who is the most famous ghost detective?

Sherlock Moans.’

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‘Who is the most famous skeleton datective?

Sherlock Bones.’

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‘Who is the most famous wizard detective?

Werlock Holmes.’

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‘What do witches take to the beach?

Suntan potion.’

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‘Why do ghosts love pubs?

Because of all the boos.’

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‘Where do ghosts do their homework?

Exorcise books.’

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‘How does a wizard’s cooking pot introduce itself?

„Hello, I’m called Ron.”

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‘What do you call a spirit novelist?

A ghost writer.’

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‘What do you call a spirit playwright?

A crypt writer.’

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‘Why did the wizard make his potions in a cauldron?

His microwave was on the blink.’

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‘What does a formula-one witch ride?

A vroomstick.’

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‘What does a witch do when she goes on a diet?

She joins weight witches.’

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‘What are baby witches called?

Halloweenies.’

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‘What did the cannibal do in „all you can eat” restaurant?

He ate two waiters and the chef.’

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‘What do you get if you cross a skeleton with jar of peanut butter?

Extra-crunchy peanut butter.’

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‘What’s the definition of a cannibal?

Someone who loves his fellow man- with gravy.’

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‘How you can help a hungry cannibal?

Give him a hand.’

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‘How do cannibals call a line of people waiting at a bus stop?

A barbequeue.’

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‘Why was the Scandinavian cannibal vegetarian?

He would only eat swedes.’

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‘What did the cannibal say when he was full?

„I couldn’t eat another mortal.’

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‘What do cannibals do if their slaves are revolting?

Skip that course and have pudding.’

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‘What did the skeleton say when he won the competition?

Hip, hip, hooray,’

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‘What happens if you upset a cannibal?

You get into hot water.’

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‘ Who is the skeleton king of rock and roll?

Pelvis.’

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‘How do ghosts get out of the cemetry when it’s locked?

They use a skeleton key.’

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‘What’s a cannibal’s favourite fast food snack?

A handburger.’

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‘What did the cannibal say at his sugar plantation?

„I’ll feed my lads with m’lasses!”

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‘Why were the skeletons so happy after the party?

They had a rattling good time.’

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‘Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

No, they eat the fingers separately.’

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‘Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

He’s a pain in the neck.’

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‘Why did the witch feed her cat pennies?

She wanted to put some money in the kitty.’

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‘What did the vampire say to his victim?

„Your neck’s on my list.”

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‘Why was the vampire heartbroken?

His love was in vein.’

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‘What do young zombies call their parents?

Mummy and Deady.’

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‘What do you give vampires with sore throats?

Coffin medicine.’

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‘What did the mummy vampire say to her screaming baby?

„Stop crying, you’re driving me batty.”

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‘What’s Dracula’s favourite soup?

Scream of tomato.’

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‘What do elves learn at school?

The elfabet.’

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‘What does the baby vampire say before going to bed?

„Turn on the dark. I’m afraid of the light.”

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‘Why is everybody bored of Dracula’s artwork?

Because he always draws blood.’

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‘What do vampire footballers have at half-time?

Blood oranges.’

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‘ What happend when the vampire bit a goose?

He felt down in the mouth.’

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‘Why did the vampire come top of the class?

Because he passed his blood test.’

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‘Why was the boy so upset to find a monster in his bath?

It had used all the hot water.’

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